You’ve got the love

How is your month going?

We’re moving through our second month of the year, and I know for my clients, (myself too), that this is typically a time where they start reflecting on where they’re at in their life. The new year, new start January momentum is starting to wane along with the flow of motivation.

And then Valentine’s day can be a triggering time for some too. Potentially bringing up feelings of loneliness, isolation and sadness. If you’re not where you want to be in that area of your life, if you’re single,  recently out of a relationship, or even in a relationship – the constant reminders of romantic love can highlight a sense of lack in your own life. And even trigger deep rooted  feelings of unworthiness.

Whatever your situation, it’s really important to remember that you are worthy of love in all its forms – we all are!

Real love comes from within, and so if we want to attract external love, or even things we love or would love to achieve into our lives,  first we have to learn how to nurture self-love. And know we are worthy.  As the saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup! We tend to attract partners who treat us the way we treat ourselves, so if you’re feeling unloved, could it be a sign that you need to show more kindness and compassion to yourself?

This same principle can be applied in other areas of our lives. Other relationships, business growth or career progression – if we don’t truly value ourselves and develop a deep sense of self worth- we may start to feel undervalued in our workplace, feel the lack of clients in our business and so forth.

Practising self-care and self-love are amazing skills to develop, and a great place to start is thinking about those things that light you up – are you making the time and space for them? They don’t have to be big sweeping gestures: sometimes spending a bit of time curled up with a good book, taking a bubble bath, or dancing to your favourite feel-good playlist is the perfect gateway to getting used to taking time to give ourselves some care.

These little acts of kindness all add up, and shouldn’t be underestimated. Just lighting a lovely scented candle, putting on your comfies and spending an evening writing in your journal are simple acts of focused self-nurturing that can lift your spirits immensely. We all deserve to feel that warmth.

Reflective journaling can be such a powerful tool for self-discovery and appreciating your positive qualities. Try setting aside some regular time to write freely about some of these prompts:

  • What do you admire about yourself?
  • What are 3 things are you grateful for about yourself?
  • What inspires and excites you?
  • What have your loved ones said to you about what they think about your strengths?
  • What accomplishments are you proud of, big or small?

It’s also a really good idea to be aware of what you’re consuming on social media. Affectionate Instagram posts and advertisements can be hard to avoid, and images of smiling couples enjoying romantic dinners are a stark contrast to eating alone at home with the TV on. Just because you are single, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy being treated and feeling special. How about treating yourself to a dinner that you love and enjoy it in your own candlelight setting. Buy yourself some beautiful spring flowers that make you feel good? Get some friend-dates in the diary, invite the girls around! Equally – when you’re growing a business, you can feel bombarded with posts of others showcasing their big wins and achievements. Keep your focus on you – don’t let the noise of everyone else distract you.

Whilst it might feel strange to be doing these things for yourself, remind yourself that they’re the very things that will remind you that you’re worthy of love, you’re worthy of success, happiness and you’re worth caring for.

It’s also important to notice critical self-talk and consciously counter it with positive truths. If you catch yourself thinking something negative like “I’m not good enough,” purposefully replace it with a balancing thought like “I am enough and I am worthy of love and happiness.” “I have the potential to achieve amazing things in my life.” Because you are and you do!

Making this a habit is an amazing practice which will build self-acceptance and self worth over time.

Of course, you don’t have to do all this on your own! Consciously connect with those people, places and things that bring you joy. Reach out to supportive friends and family, attend meetups for hobbies you enjoy, volunteer with an uplifting cause – meaningful human connections and experiences are core to self-love.

The key is to shift your focus away from what you lack in relationships to appreciating what you DO have – friends, family, hobbies, pets, nature. That in itself will begin to attract more love into your life.

Remember, true love starts from within. By taking better care of your inner world, you create the conditions for love to grow in all areas of your life. You are so worthy.

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