Is it just me, or does anyone else get really reflective around the time of their birthday? It’s definitely a great gauge for if I am feeling aligned with my goals, future visions and dreams of what I want to manifest/ accomplish and achieve by a certain time.
By the time I post this out, I will be turning 44. At an age, where in my 20’s, I had very different ideas of where I would be! Which makes total sense, as we are so conditioned with expectations of where we should be at certain points in our lives – especially the big ‘milestones’ such as turning 30/ 40/ 50 and so on.
And I actually think, it doesn’t matter how much work you do on yourself -if you’re still interacting in society, these times will bring things up – either consciously or subconsciously. Things will surface. Any lingering doubts, worries, fears, limiting beliefs etc will start to get triggered by the rise in awareness of time and where we stand on our time-line in respect to where we maybe thought we’d be.
And I think this is good, to go through this, to meet these moments and really use the time, with the energy and all the emotions it brings. The potential resistance, feelings of sadness, regret, grief, disappointment – whatever it might be. Along with gratitude, joy, happiness etc. But I do think the tendency is to focus on the negative, as sadly that’s what we’ve been programmed to do. So most people will feel overcome with these negative feelings, and the immediate impulse is to want to feel relief, to push it away, distract – as it can feel so uncomfortable to sit with those feelings. If we’re not used to it. (I guess this is where the old mid-life crisis cliche comes in – where we suddenly decide to give everything up, sell up and move to the other side of the world, or buy a sports car etc.)
But I really believe that this is our stages of human evolution, how we evolve from an average, mediocre existence – just getting by, to really living the life we actually want. NOt what was sold to us. That we were funnelled down from school/college – following what we’re told we should do.
At some point, our inner voice kicks in and says (usually when you’re sat in the middle of something you deep down know you don’t want to be) ‘What am I doing here? What happened to my life?’!! And we start getting that inner calling to re-route life back onto our own terms. Our soul starts to come alive and send signals of discontent, an ache starts to rise from the pit of our stomach – a yearning for more.
Which I believe is then the spark of the beginning of the awakening, the unpeeling (of all the layers of conditioning we’ve been subjected to), the unravelling (of the old thinking, beliefs and opinions of others that don’t sit right with you) and when the reprogramming starts, our brain, like the dial of a radio is unable to tolerate the static interference getting louder in the background and wanting to get a clearer signal, a clear connection to the source. And when we do, the clarity that comes in is like something clicks into place. Everything becomes clearer, that bliss feeling of finding our own place – that feeling of returning to ourselves. Letting go of all the things we’ve been carrying that’s not ours, the weightless feeling of dropping all the things we were doing because we thought we had to, the people pleasing, the acting in a certain way to be accepted, the over riding of our own needs for others.
I have had that experience, that feeling of an enlightened state. Where I realised what I really actually wanted from my life. And then in contrast, realised all that I was carrying or doing that I didn’t want but that I felt I had to. And the relief of dropping all those things was bliss! Of choosing my own way, my own path. Choosing me first. It felt wrong almost, to put myself before others (because that’s what we’re taught.) But the interesting thing is, when you do this, when you fill your cup first, when you do the things that light you up, that lift you and you love, you become radiant and you ripple that out to others. And then you can give so much more, effortlessly. Just by being present and being you.
I think we have these phases, as opportunities in life. To check back in. They’re like life’s goal posts. When you want to reach big stretch goals, you have to plan out all the steps to achieve it. Like climbing Everest. No one can just decides on a whim, ‘You know what, I’ll just go and climb that mountain today.’ It takes planning, deciding how long it will take to get to a level of fitness and preparation and then reverse engineering what it will take to get there. And you create many goal posts as check ins points, to measure your progress and as the next most realistic step to target.
You couldn’t just have the top as your overall target when you’re at the bottom. That will feel too overwhelming and would not be very motivating! I think we could look at life in the same way. And a lot of the time, we probably do this subconsciously, set ourselves targets to head towards on the way to our overall desire. But imagine how more effective and successful it would be to consciously get really clear about where we were heading and then set goal posts along the way to ensure we get there. That’s how I see my birthdays. And sometimes it’s really excited – when I’m on track. But a lot of the time, it can feel really deflating. Like I’m not where I thought I would be. Which hits hard. But it really motivates me to get off my ass and do something about it!
These phases can great disruptors. As we could easily just drift in life sometimes. We’ve followed what we were told, got the degree, got the house, got the marriage, kids, great job, promotions… But how much of this is what we actually wanted. How much did we consciously really decide? How much was our free will?!
These stages of our evolution are opportunities, to move from being reactive, easily affected/ influenced by external factors and living life in constant low level stress as the majority of the population are to learning how to connect with our inner world, control our mind, and manage our emotional and mental states. It’s so important to have different stages that we go through. Things that provoke us to challenge our ways of approaching things and how we see the world. So we can raise our level of consciousness to live more from our higher mind.
This is a peek into how this time is for me and the level of reflective thinking I start going into! Haha – it goes deep! I’d love to hear if anyone else feels this depth of wonderment and inner reflection about the meaning of everything and where we are within it at certain times in your life!
In Astrology they say we have our Saturn Return that has an impact on our move through these phases, amongst other planetary influences – something that I have always been curious about. I really believe everything is connected, it makes total sense to me. Even coming from the medical background I have, I’ve been teased for years about being ‘woo woo’ for saying such things. I love the idea that we are going through this human experience and have guidance, support and insights available to us along the way. To help us ascend into higher levels of conscious living. Which I am all about!!
I’ve had a few readings over the years and I always love looking into these things around my birthday. Most recently I’ve been exploring Human Design and looking at how I can work more in alignment with my natural energy and gifts. It’s so fascinating, I can’t get enough of it and am actually really looking forward to putting it into practice and seeing what shifts.
Thank you for reading along, if you have got this far!
I’d love to hear your thoughts on my musings – feel free to reply to this email 🙂
I hope you have a lovely weekend!
Lisa x
Birthday offer
Because I’m turning 44… I decided to share a special birthday offer! 
For my birthday weekend, I’m sharing up to 44% off as a big thank-you and invitation to celebrate with me.
From 20% off my Amor Cacao and all gift box experiences, along with any coaching programs and cacao ceremonies to 44% off my Immersive coaching session
So if you’ve been curious about cacao, fancy joining me for a ceremony, or have been thinking about exploring coaching together, this is your chance to do it with a little birthday sparkle 
Whether you use it or not, thank you for being part of this little community and following my email musings. ❤️
Lisa x
To find out more about how you can work with me:
Coaching clarity call – https://calendly.com/lisafearoncoaching
Sisters Thrive Community – https://lisafearoncoaching.com/sisters-thrive/
Our next cacao ceremonies (online and inperson) – https://lisafearoncoaching.com/cacao-ceremony-events/